Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out!
Short and sweet… we all want to be accepted, but sometimes we are misled by societal pressures to believe that we must conform for acceptance to occur. The opposite is true.
Just think for a moment. If everyone was the same why would we see them as significant. Also think for a moment of great, popular, or even despised personalities you have crossed paths with throughout your life. It is not the ones who are like everyone else, but the ones who stand alone and reveal themselves that capture our attention and interest.
This particular concept is a personal point of focus to me. I am quiet and very much an introvert. I’m a little “ADD”. I love research and data. I am highly introspective and though may not be comfortable in large groups I have a highly developed sensitivity to how others feel and what they are thinking.
Even though I speak publicly before large audiences at times as part of my career, I find myself feeling out of place and awkward in a room full of people I don’t know well. I recharge through trips, alone or with a close friend, to the mountains, or sailing on the ocean, and much prefer the regular company of one than the prolonged company of a group.
So what does how I feel have to do with anything? To me it is simple, I am who I am, and when I let go and am totally myself I have fun and am light in spirit. When I try to “conform” to my perception of what others think I should be, I crash and burn.
The same is true for you. You are special, unique, one of a kind. Your personality will attract some and repel others, that’s just the way it is. Learn to embrace those attracted to you and just not worry about those who are not. There is not one famous personality who does not have critics and detractors… why should you be an exception.
That said, individuality should not be used as an excuse to not care about others, or to seek to control or disrupt those who may not like you as much. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and knowing you’re a good person with your heart in the right place.
Even though I tend to be quiet, I love to help others. I spend countless hours on the phone and in person each week helping those within my circles. For me at least, having a spirit of giving brings me a sense of peace and satisfaction.
So take a moment to appraise where you are. Are you just you? Or do you feel a certain stress or compulsion to be like you think others think you should be? Notice I say “what you think others think”. That’s because often they would much rather have the real you they haven’t met, but they aren’t given the opportunity.
Relax… be yourself! You are an incredible person with ideas and values others would love to hear. Allow them to know the real you!