The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, knowledge, or skill, but rather a lack of will…
Research tells us that willpower is a limited resource. Each of us only have only so much of it.
Your self-control is at a low point when you are mentally exhausted. Mentally, not physically.
Below I have listed three ways to improve “willpower” and self control.
1. Anticipate and plan for times of low self-control. Self-control is a limited resource and that depleting it means you will have much less for later. Knowing this you can do some anticipating and planning ahead to improve your willpower when it is needed. For example, make sure that you’re not in the snack food aisle of the grocery store or even grocery shopping at all, when you are hungry. Make a plan to eat first then shop according to your plan.
Simply, don’t walk into a tempting situation without a plan in advance to control your outcome.
2. Exercise your willpower muscle to get more of it. One of the leading researchers in the field of “willpower” is Roy Baumeister. He has suggested that willpower is like a muscle. Exercising muscles in the short-term leads to exhaustion, but over time exercising a muscle causes it to strengthen and grow. There is good evidence that exercising your willpower, though temporarily depleting it, lead to a stronger will in the long run.
Things to do that will deplete your willpower, and as a result improve your self control over time:
- Work on a tough to solve puzzle;
- Watch a funny movie but resist the urge to laugh;
- Watch a sad movie but resist the urge to cry.
- Master your emotions in difficult situations
3. Drink fruit juice. It turns out that glucose is one of the key ingredients that your brain needs for effective self-control. Willpower can be increased by ensuring the brain has proper nutrition, specifically glucose!
Willpower is less than infinite. But it can be developed and significantly increased. The ability to exercise a strong is a proven fundamental for success. So… pull out the mind weights, (puzzles, emotional times you can rise above), and develop this important tool of effective living.
Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out!
Short and sweet… we all want to be accepted, but sometimes we are misled by societal pressures to believe that we must conform for acceptance to occur. The opposite is true.
Just think for a moment. If everyone was the same why would we see them as significant. Also think for a moment of great, popular, or even despised personalities you have crossed paths with throughout your life. It is not the ones who are like everyone else, but the ones who stand alone and reveal themselves that capture our attention and interest.
This particular concept is a personal point of focus to me. I am quiet and very much an introvert. I’m a little “ADD”. I love research and data. I am highly introspective and though may not be comfortable in large groups I have a highly developed sensitivity to how others feel and what they are thinking.
Even though I speak publicly before large audiences at times as part of my career, I find myself feeling out of place and awkward in a room full of people I don’t know well. I recharge through trips, alone or with a close friend, to the mountains, or sailing on the ocean, and much prefer the regular company of one than the prolonged company of a group.
So what does how I feel have to do with anything? To me it is simple, I am who I am, and when I let go and am totally myself I have fun and am light in spirit. When I try to “conform” to my perception of what others think I should be, I crash and burn.
The same is true for you. You are special, unique, one of a kind. Your personality will attract some and repel others, that’s just the way it is. Learn to embrace those attracted to you and just not worry about those who are not. There is not one famous personality who does not have critics and detractors… why should you be an exception.
That said, individuality should not be used as an excuse to not care about others, or to seek to control or disrupt those who may not like you as much. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and knowing you’re a good person with your heart in the right place.
Even though I tend to be quiet, I love to help others. I spend countless hours on the phone and in person each week helping those within my circles. For me at least, having a spirit of giving brings me a sense of peace and satisfaction.
So take a moment to appraise where you are. Are you just you? Or do you feel a certain stress or compulsion to be like you think others think you should be? Notice I say “what you think others think”. That’s because often they would much rather have the real you they haven’t met, but they aren’t given the opportunity.
Relax… be yourself! You are an incredible person with ideas and values others would love to hear. Allow them to know the real you!
It seems like a simple question, but you’d be amazed at how infrequently people really consider this question in relation to either their business or their life.
When asked, “what do you want”, most people actually begin by stating things they “don’t want”. While that information may have some use it fails to answer the question, or even bring us close to it’s answer. You see there is a huge difference in stating your goals in the “positive” reference rather than the “negatives” of what it is not.
Achieving goals require the ability to visualize them in their completed state. Take for instance, I say. “think of an elephant”, and you can immediately picture an elephant in your mind. But what is I said, “think of an animal, that is not small, does not have spots, it not what most would call furry…”, what would you envision?
You see the picture in the negative frame work is unclear, un actionable, where the picture in the positive reference is explicit, easy to understand, consistent.
Goals we set for our life and our business must be much the same. In fact the more vivid, explicit and clearly defined, the more your subconscious mind will help to support your achieving it.
So begin the goal setting process by envisioning specifically what you want to achieve, then write it down, in detail. After discovering specifically what you want the next question we should ask is, “how will you know when you’ve got it”.
For now, what do you want to get from the time and energy you have invested in reading this? I would love to hear your responses.
This question has been asked throughout the ages and argued possibly more than any other question… The statements I make below are not intended to settle this issue, but only to share my view. The reason this is important to me is because it serves as the foundational truth of all the business and personal growth advice I give.
I warmly welcome all faiths and even as God loves you and wishes to draw you to Himself, in a much less significant way I wish to emulate His example.
There is no way to “prove” there is a God, but we can observe the available evidence critically and then choose whether or not we want to “take the leap” of faith required to believe in God.
In contrast, because you cannot prove the existence of God, you also can not disprove it. That makes unbelief a step of faith as much as belief.
The evidence of the existence of God and who God is, specifically the “Biblical” narrative upon which I base these foundations, is historically, prophetically, archeologically, and hermeneutically, powerful and enormous in volume and example. Still at the end of the day it takes a leap of faith. We must take each belief, compile the evidence of that belief, compare the evidence, and then take the shortest leap.
I have looked at this intensely and believe that YHWH, Jehovah, Elohim, Adonai, the first person of the Trinity, the great I AM, the Creator, the Lord Jesus Christ, is indeed God.
This “Biblically based” faith of mine is not strong as some may think, but it is actually very weak. If not for the evidence and substantive provisions by God for my reassurance, my faith would crumble in disbelief. Fortunately He has given proof sufficient to the cause of answering every question I have asked… though some of the questions required significant research.
I am not politically correct, I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me, I must live with myself. I do all I can to think even as Jesus did when he loved the world. He was not prejudice, he did not favor any, he loved all, yet never compromised his message or beliefs. May God give me the strength to do the same, at all times, and to share the gifts, knowledge and experience He has given me to help others.
“You ask for something but do not get it because you ask for it for the wrong reason-for your own pleasure.” James 4:3
This simple verse is loaded with hidden treasure we can dig and expose… treasure that will improve your life and show you a way to enrich others through your actions.
In the verse preceding this verse the statement is made, “You don’t have, because you don’t ask”. So the basis of the thought is that we first fail and most often fail because we fail to even ask for the thinks we desire. The principle listed here is in direct reference to prayer to God, but as in most scripture the principle has a far broader application. Remember, we are “made in the image of God”, and many of the things that apply to our direct relationship spiritually also apply here on earth temporally.
When we have a need but keep it to ourselves, we fail in several ways. First we fail to document the need in a way others who might have the resources or desire to fulfill can discover. The silence prevents action being taken, but there must be a deeper meaning to this as God knows our thoughts… so why do we need to ask?
To answer this question we need to consider the thought in the verse above. We need to consider why asking does not always work.
Asking works on our innermost being. When we “ask” and ask for the right reasons we strip away the cover of pride, we acknowledge that we need another, we are not self sufficient, we, in that moment, become dependent. Where there is a level of dependence the opportunity for “interdependence” is produced. It is this interdependence that enables new discovery, new growth, and expanded forward movement, both spiritually and physically. But why doesn’t it always work?
The second half of the verse give us some light on why asking is not always the precedent to receiving, that being, “you ask for the wrong reason”. You see the motive behind the request is more important than the request itself. The right reason must be a part of the request. If your “reasons” are for the wrong purpose then your requests will be denied. But then we must ask, “what are the right reasons”?
The last part of the verse tell us that our reasons are wrong when we ask seeking “our own pleasure”. The motive being exposed here is selfishness. We we put our need first others sense that and pull back from contributing. It is only when you sincerely put the needs of the other person or situation forst that a consensus can be reached. Agreement is the key to fulfilled “asking”.
Personal growth requires a daily step by step reinvention of our body, our spirit, and our soul. This simple verse teaches us two important steps and gives us a path to follow to achieve success. The two negative principles discussed here are the principles of “pride” and “selfishness”. The two positive principles are “interdependence” and “a considerate attitude”.
These same principles are not limited to our “personal life”, but extend throughout all of our life including how we conduct business. In fact I would argue that there is no division between your personal and business lives. They and you are one and the same in both roles. If you “think” you are different, that some how you have segmented your life into compartments, you misunderstand the power and role of the subconscious mind. The duplicity you demonstrate in your roles in the end will distort your life and prevent you from the ultimate success you would have obtained in either role.
Take these thoughts, remove the prideful fears of asking, selflessly move forward seeking how relationships with others can benefit them a well as you, being sincere in your consideration. And live these principles in all areas of your life.